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[Oct. 15th, 2006|09:36 pm] |
So I've been studying for music history, but I really can't process anymore listening. I think I'll be okay. Dan's studying geography on my bed and I'm trying my best not to be a distraction, so I'm posting here instead.
Homecoming went pretty well. Dance was alright. I looked amazing and only had a couple of freak outs about the number of people packed into the atrium. Parade was crazy windy. I can't believe I managed to spin like that. We were getting hit with flags like crazy and you know it's bad when I'm afraid to just palm roll. I was terrified for tossing in the game, because Thorne Field is always worse than the rest of the world for wind, but it had actually died down pretty well by then. Threw and caught all 4 of my tosses, though I'm still quite grateful that we were doing show 1 (show 2 has a horizontal). The football team lost. Badly. No shock there. Ran back to go to the Signature Alumni thing. Pretty much no one showed up, but Dr. Carter wins life. I love her. Then I was a GT groupie and went out with that whole crowd for dinner. It was fun and Dan let me pay (yay!). This morning was church as always, brunch, Signature Inductions (I take good pictures and look pretty). And then here to study for the listening exam while Dad studies for geography (yay taking advantage of Homecoming open house). All chant sounds the same, but I think I'll be alright.
Going home Wednesday! Yay! And bringing the Daniel with me. I'm excited about seeing the band (Dan, Dad and I will be at the show and I'll probably stop by a little of rehearsal). I need to remember to actually study for my C.S. Lewis midterm over break sometime. |
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[Oct. 7th, 2006|11:47 am] |
So I think the reason I haven't updated in 4 months is that I feel some obligation to write about everything that's happened in the past 4 months. Summer was good. I met awesome people, got to hang out with some awesome 13 year olds, and was homesick most of the time.
Moving on. School is going well. My schedule's bizarre in that I have 8 am every day, but most of my afternoons free, and then rehearsals all night. Such is the life of a music major. I just have to convince myself to do work with those afternoons.
I'm absolutely loving living with the Lindsay. She is wonderful.
Things with the boy are quite good. I love Daniel Michael Spagnesi very very much. And will now shut up about it.
I really need to get over my fear of doctors sometime in the next hour or so.
No game today. Woot. As much as I love performing and football, it eats my weekends.
I've been practicing a lot more this semester. I absolutely adore my concerto (Howard Hanson, Serenade for Flute, Harp and Strings). I don't think I've ever fallen more in love with a piece. I just want to do it justice (though the more I work on it, the more I realize it could be capable of winning-- not getting my hopes up).
That's enough random thoughts for now. Off to lunch with the boyfriend and roommate. Life is good. |
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[Jun. 5th, 2006|02:23 pm] |
I leave for Dan's house and then camp in a couple of hours. I'll still be checking email, but not as often. I'll be back for one day August 5th and then leaving for another week, then I'll be at band camp at TJ, followed by band camp at GCC. Send me love:
Julie O'Roark
New England Camp Cherith
P.O. Box 154
Alfred, ME 04002 |
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[May. 23rd, 2006|03:48 pm] |
I fail at life. Really. Now, I'm not saying I fail at everything, just real life stuff. I'm good at school and dealing with people. It's real life crap like banking and making appointments that I absolutely hate and absolutely fail at. Maybe that just means I suck at being an adult.
My current problem: I need a physical for camp. Not a big deal, I should be able to call the doctor, go in, get them to sign the paperwork, right? Wrong. Apparently these are things you have to schedule months in advance. I've never scheduled a doctor's appointment before in my life; how the hell was I supposed to know this? The pediatric center, which is still listed as my primary care physician, can't get me in until August, which does me absolutely no good. I only found out I was hired a couple of weeks ago! So I have an appointment for June 5th, which is also the day I leave, with my dad's doctor. This is way after my medical forms are due at camp, but I emailed the camp director. I hope it will be okay. And while on the phone with the pediatric center I forgot to ask them about my immunization record, which is in the section of the form that I'm supposed to fill out, but I have no freakin clue when I got any of these shots. I'm having these horrible visions of me losing this job over my inability to schedule a doctor's appointment. I think I'd have to just curl up and die if that was why I ended up stuck here in some nonsense job all summer. Oh, and since I'm going to dad's doctor, I need to get my primary care physician switched on the insurance records. Somehow I think I'm going to screw that one up too. I hope this all works out.
And this is kind of amusing, but when I'm already really frustrated, it was just pissing me off. I was sitting in the living room and I here this irregular ticking noise coming from the corner of the house. I finally go over to investigate and there's a little bird pecking at the window above our front door. I scare away and it leaves. And yet it keeps coming back. I'll scare it away, the noise will stop for five or ten minutes and then it will start again. What in the world is this bird trying to accomplish by spending all day pecking at this window? Why this specific window? I've watched him fly past other windows in the house to get to this one. It makes absolutely no sense and I can't get him to go away. He's driving me crazy.
and now that I'm done ranting...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN!!!!
My boyfriend is now 21. He is old. But I love him anyway. |
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[May. 12th, 2006|11:02 am] |
My CivLit professor from last year was killed in a car accident last night. As much as I hated the class and don't think he was a very good professor (and think he was a little creepy), it's not like I thought he was evil. And it's the fault of his class that Dan and I are together (we became friends through Crime and Punishment: The Musical?). I'm concerned for his family; he has a young son, if my memory serves the kid is around 9. Dan put it beautifully saying, "I take some comfort though...where before Dr. Price could only study Dante's Paradiso and the creative imaginings of the human mind--now he can experience fully the wonder and joy that is being with the Lord in heaven." I take heart in that.
One of the Zerbe nurses died this week as well, rather unexpectedly. I remember her being incredibly kind to me on the occasions I was in there this year. She offered me chicken soup when I had my cough.
I feel rather surrounded by death right now. It's odd, and kind of depressing. |
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[May. 4th, 2006|09:49 pm] |
Pappap died earlier this evening. I'm surprisingly okay. I mean, it's sad and I'm going to miss him and I'm sure this is going to hit me eventually, but the man was 94 years old. He was suffering. It really was his time.
I'm more worried about the family. Mom's brothers and sisters lost their baby sister last summer and now their dad. And my extended family has always been defined as Pappap and his descendants. I'm not sure how well we'll stay cohesive now; there are an awful lot of us.
Dad told me in an email. I got a phone call for the cat, but an email for this. |
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| Warning: emotional Julie rantings to follow... please don't worry about me |
[May. 2nd, 2006|08:58 pm] |
I have an irrational fear of doctors because I associate them when Mom was sick. It's not that I blame them; it's that everytime there was a doctor's appointment she came home with bad news.
PapPap is getting worse. We won't have him for too much longer. I wonder what happens if I have to go to a funeral during finals.
Dad, Jeremy and Jessica are coming up for Parents' Weekend. That will be nice, as will meeting Dan's parents. But I'm missing a parent. I wish she had been able to make it up last year.
Mother's Day flute choir is playing at the nursing home. Maybe good, maybe not, as that day I think I'll just want to curl up in a ball and forget about the world. Last year Mother's Day I called home and talked to Mom. She couldn't talk back.
My cough is finally getting a little better. I'm not coughing so hard that I cry anymore.
I feel guilty for leaving Dad home alone this summer, but I just can't take being there, probably spending my time in a meaningless job. I can't take being home for my birthday.
I am entirely incapable of standing up for myself. It takes a lot for me to tell someone when something's bothering me, even when I feel personally attacked.
Some days I wondering if I'm really getting better at all. |
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[Apr. 10th, 2006|02:23 pm] |
I'm in Boston!
Grace is out talking to professors, so I've taken over her computer to give you all an update.
Flight things were good. I spent quite a bit of time in the Pittsburgh Airport, but after everything got sorted out, I ended up on a direct flight, which was nice. And today I navigated the T all by myself. I feel so well travelled.
MIT was amazing. You can tell a good time when the first night there you lay in a giant hammock strung between two buildings, watch large explosions in the courtyard from the roof and make liquid nitrogen ice cream. Caro left me alone for a little while, but I actually felt not awkward hanging out with her friends. All around a good time.
Kathryn got back from crew things last night, but I didn't get to see her much, which is a shame.
Caro's pretty hosed this week, so this afternoon I got shipped off to Grace at Boston College, which is where I am now. Haven't really done anything here yet but eat, but it's Grace Kim, so I know I'll have a grand time, even if it's just following her to class.
And I've been a good girl and done some Russian History, though I totally just fell asleep on Grace's floor while reading.
Chistopher Gery is coming up on Wednesday. This is going to be a rocking good time, mini WaHo reunion. It's so good to see everybody.
I hope all is going well with the Touring Choir and everyone else's breaks |
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| ;DRKIJS'EI;RTYS; |
[Mar. 23rd, 2006|05:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
THEY CANCELLED THE TALENT SHOW!!!
I'm a little upset... maybe a lot upset. We've been working so hard, we already have almost half of it choreographed and they tell us that due to "scheduling issues" we won't be holding the talent show this year. I understand that with the way break falls time is tight, but really the problem is that they waited too long to schedule it. What about a Wednesday night or a Saturday afternoon. So attendance will be a little lower to something like that... so what. Choreographing the indoor show was my biggest stress reliever this semester and now there's no point. I guess we can keep what we've written for next year, but there is no way this doesn't completely suck. |
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[Mar. 11th, 2006|12:48 am] |
Thank God this week is over. And I actually had an okay day today. Robert W. Smith wins life. I wish I hadn't had to leave the reading session for the solfeg test (ick).
Band concert, flowers all went well. Dan's parents bought me flowers, which has to be the cutest thing ever. I'm glad they love me despite having yet to actually meet me. And if we judge by flowers, Dan's parents love me more than mine (not that I expect Dad to do the flower thing).
Game night was good, though I watched a lot of the night. I dunno, just wasn't in the mood and we had an odd number for catchphrase. The game night crowd never ceases to make me laugh. I hope Kim keeps coming; she's great.
getting up at the crack of dawn tomorrow for a secular choral literature workshop. Then we have our first colorguard practice! We're throwing this together kinda last minute, but it's still gonna rock. I am so excited. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2006|11:50 pm] |
I think the entire world is stressed out and tense right now. And it's not just midterms. The next two days spare time is going to be a luxury. I hate feeling incapable and that's the way I am right now. Flower sales I need to make a ton of phone calls tomorrow... something I'm not good with. I don't know why, but I'm just not confident talking to people like that. Friday solfeg test (which make me hate myself pretty easily) and all of the insanity going on with the band concert and Robert W. Smith being here (which is cool). And I have applications for summer camp jobs to work on (those need to get out, like, yesterday). I just feel overwhelmed. And PapPap's back in the hospital; his prognosis is listed as "poor."
And while I don't want to share the lives of others here... the two people I spend the most time with, Laura and Dan, aren't having the best times LDJGHXDLJTKYHLD/TJKGH/SLEIRTHLSERIT/RTH/SERLJTHSE/LRIYHS/ELRIYHS/EL
I'm okay
(Chis... the panic button has so been getting use) |
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[Mar. 5th, 2006|07:32 pm] |
So I never update anymore.
Things have been alright. Break was fine, though I think being home for less than four days is ideal for me. I kept walking through the door and expecting the cat to come running in. It was pretty sad. I worry about Dad, all by himself. He's probably retiring at the end of this school year, which will be nice for his stress level, since school has been driving him crazy, but at the same time school makes him have people around. Hopefully he keeps up with his friends well after he retires. I know he has grand plans to keep himself busy. My entire immediate family (all seven of us) went out for Dad's birthday. I spent most of the evening with Lily. She's getting so old! And she can do simple addition and subtraction, which impressed me (what did I expect her dad's a math teacher). It was really good to see everyone. I feel like the guys and their wives are starting to treat me more like an equal, which is nice. Jason insisting on picking on me about Dan (of course); he enjoys his big brother role way too much.
One of the pieces of mail I got while I was home was an invitation to Jess Wheatley and Evan Clay's wedding. Three emotions went through my head: surprise that I had been invited, considering Jess and I aren't that close anymore, sadness that I couldn't attend (it's just not practical for me to get to Frederick in April), and complete disbelief that another of my friends is getting married. It makes me feel so old. At least so far all of the engaged couples have been friends who are older than I am. I mentioned this to my sister-in-law Jessica and she said, "my friends are all starting to have babies... now that makes you feel old." I concur.
Okay... Gospel Team needs to get back to campus. I have no idea when they were expecting to get back, so no worries, I just want to see Dan. |
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| I apologize for the lack of real update... roommate Bible study |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|11:29 pm] |
Psalm 13:1-2, 5-6 (NIV)
How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and everyday have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation
I will sing to the LORD,
For he has been good to me. |
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[Feb. 13th, 2006|10:14 am] |
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I got it to work in rich text mode. Woot. Not the best of pictures, but look... I have less hair! |
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[Feb. 12th, 2006|11:30 pm] |
I totally did this already, but it keeps screwing up when I try to add a picture.
Anywho, this weekend has been amazing.
Friday Night: Best. Game Night. Ever. Quiddler was cool, then we played telephone pictionary, as suggested by Kim Thomas. The first person writes a phrase, the next draws a picture, the next writes a phrase (without looking at the original picture), etc. The results were the funniest thing I have ever seen. I was laughing so hard it hurt. Laura was in tears. Look before you leap->anorexia. You can't liquify shrimp->Drunk refereeing is not okay. They were so amazing we posted them outside the door for all to enjoy (or just us everytime we step outside the room). Only two went around in tact: Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? and Think outside the box.
Saturday: Lunch. Back here to let Laura cut my hair (it was getting way too long). This is where I tried and failed to load the picture. Keep getting an error message. If I figure that one out, I'll give you photographic evidence. Suffice to say, My hair hasn't been this short since middle school. Good recital... pretty crazy... Moses. Laura and I then went shopping. We totally hit up Walmart and the clearances at the Old Navy outlet and I now have some great new clothes. Shopping with Laura is good. She actually knows what she's doing. Dinner with two Dans (Spagnesi and Peterson), then bowling, which I suck at but was uber fun anyway. I'd never been to our college lanes before. Cheap, fun, keeping your own score feels so retro. Afterwards we stood in the cold for a while and then went to Brad and Jaron's room and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Good movie. I left my camera there. This will become important later. Afterwards Dan and I hung out for a little while, as I had spent most of my day with Laura, which was very very good, but not typical.
Sunday: Linds, one of the Emilys and I were touring choir groupies and went to East Main for church. I love the touring choir and I think I would even if I didn't date one of them, live with one of them and was uber good friends with another. Brunch was... brunch. When we got back Laura had been left a ransom note for my camera and our bowling scores demanding $250,000 in pennies. We decided to make our best effort collecting pennies from our hallmates and friends. I had to run off because I had agreed to read with Dan and didn't want to stand him up , but over the next five hours Laura and Jen collected over $12 in pennies. I find that very impressive. Jaron was pretty much in shock when we gave them too him. But we weren't going to just fork over $12. Brad and Jaron are expected to supply next week's Game Night with refreshments. While this penny collecting was going on, Dan and I read for our history classes. Then we decided to go out to dinner, as the cafeteria sucks Sunday night and we won't actually have time to go out for Valentine's Day. Took us forever to make decisions, but we finally left. Dinner was very good. The company was better. Came back, decided there's nothing to do in Grove City, hung out in West, participated in the camera/penny exchange, hung out in West. I then bid Daniel goodnight and came back here. When Laura got back from Uplift we had our first roommate Bible study. Psalm 42 is definitely a good one. I think Bible study will be really good, in that we'll be growing closer to one another and God.
And then I wrote this, which has been uber long and kinda rambling. Just putting words on paper for the best weekend ever. |
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[Feb. 8th, 2006|07:20 pm] |
My dad just called.
My cat, Cadfael, died today. Yesterday he started peeing blood, so my aunt took him to the vet this morning. He had a tumor on his bladder that burst. He was perfectly fine up until last night. I love this cat more than a lot of people. We've had him since I was 5 and he's been one of the only things keeping me sane when I'm home. It gave me some comfort to know that Dad wasn't entirely alone while I was gone, even if it was just the cat. Cadfael slept with Mom in the hospital bed until she died and ever since he's been lonely and attention starved. He was affectionate, pretty and a little insane. I know he was just a cat, but I've been sobbing ever since I got off the phone with Dad. It's going to be so strange going home and having Cadfael not there. It's just going to make the house feeling empty that much worse. |
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[Jan. 26th, 2006|08:03 pm] |
I need a little prayer here folks.
My grandfather had a mild stroke today. The nurses don't think it's life threatening and he's mostly regained use of his limbs, but his speech is garbled (which of course brings back the most wonderful memories for me). We'll know more after he sees the doctor tomorrow.
For those who don't know, PapPap broke his leg over a month ago and has been in the hospital/nursing home since. He's had some complications with his heart and oxygen levels, but they were working on rehab with the goal of getting him walking again so he could go home. He is 94 years old, almost completely blind, but still entirely lucid. Before I came back to school Dad told me to figure out Grove City's policy and procedures on getting out of school at short notice, just in case.
I'm scared of losing him. He's 94; it's only a matter of time. But I don't know what a loss like that would do to our family, especially our extended family. Losing Mom was a bigger blow, but we haven't entirely recovered from that yet. Particularly for Mom's brothers and sisters... they just lost their baby sister, now their dad too?
I'm not really sure why this has upset me as much as it has. Yes, I love PapPap, I'm close to him, he's my last living grandparent... but I never thought him getting sick would bother me this much. I was sad when Nana and Grandma died, but I wasn't torn up about it. I think I'm just not ready to deal with loss again. Not yet. |
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[Jan. 25th, 2006|08:58 am] |
So this morning immediately upon waking up I pinched a nerve in my neck. It now hurts to move outside a limited range of motion which does not include the ability to look to the right. Getting dressed, showering, bruching my teeth... all present new challenges when you can't move your neck.
First two days of classes down. So far so good. I think both of my non-music classes will be good (Russian history and BibRev). It will be more reading than last semester and two papers instead of one, but I can handle that.
The moosen family is now four strong, as I gave Fred to Dan last night. Clark, Homer, Seymore and Fred... quite the collection I'd say. |
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[Jan. 16th, 2006|12:39 pm] |
Yesterday I had a minor freak out. I need out of this place. I don't feel like I belong here anymore. Dan called, made things a little better.
This morning I woke up feeling better emotionally but just plain awful physically. My stomach apparently hates me.
Patrick and Linds coming this evening. I have a good bit of cleaning I want/need to do before they get here, but all my body wants to do is lay on the couch. I hope this is a 24 hour thing and I'm not sick for them being here. |
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[Jan. 7th, 2006|07:47 pm] |
I haven't been online like at all the past week. Took me forever to get caught up on my friends list.
Dan left this morning. It was amazing having him here this week. Kept the house from feeling so empty. His first day here he did so well meeting all of my family and answering all the questions. Jessica told me on the phone that she was "really impressed." Dad seemed to like him too, though Dad and I are not ones to discuss such things. I think the WaHo crew liked him too. I know Caro did (she "wholeheartedly approves" of this one- to the point that she keeps saying things like "so when you and Dan are married..." Seriously now, it's only been a little over a month of officially dating). We spent a lot of time with the crew, including a trip into D.C., and hit up the Frederick Coffee Co. a few times. But I think the best part of the week was just being here with him doing normal things- cooking dinner, watching movies, playing chess. We don't hate each other after spending a week constantly together. Definitely a good thing.
I love him so much.
In other news: the Redskins won again this evening. Woot. I was just hoping they'd get to the playoffs. Winning their first game was awesome.
Next week I'm going into school with Dad for Field Experience. With the exception of waking up at the crack of dawn, I'm looking forward to it. Not looking forward to doing insane amounts of stupid work to write about it. Week after that Patrick and Linds are coming down. Not sure what to do to keep them entertained. |
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julieflutechick's journal
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